The Edinburgh Dungeon

I wish we’d just stayed at the pub. We’d purchased the tickets online, so we didn’t have to wait in line, but we did have to wait about 20 minutes for enough people to show up to qualify as a ‘group’.

The last people in were a couple with a young infant. I was worried for the child’s mental well-being, but also worried it would cry the whole time and ruin the experience. Turns out that the baby saved it from being complete shite because it giggled at all of the ‘scary’ things so I at least had a bit of a laugh.

When we entered the facilities they had my friend stand in the stockade and I had to hold the rubber axe and pretend to chop off her head. This was done with the hopes we would fork over additional money to purchase this photograph as a souvenir. Didn’t happen.

Then on to the waiting room, where we waited.

And waiting.

And waited some more.

Finally we were off to the Dungeons!

We were ushered into a mock 17th century court room and forced to sit through badly scripted trials utilising members from our group.

After being warned for the second time that the actors won’t touch us so don’t touch them, we were moved to another room to another actor spouting insults (oooh, scary) and demonstrating various torture techniques by once again using members from our groups.

On to the highly malodorous actor who shouted a lot and played with the plastic body parts. Or maybe that was the autopsy doctor? We had a 30 second boat tour admist more shouting and sniffing characters and then the best part of getting into the ride to simulate dropping from the hangman’s noose. This is where they took yet another photo, available for purchase of course.

Yawn.

Save your money and book the City of the Dead Graveyard tour instead (John, the guide, is fantastic).

We didnt queue very long but it was the worst attraction a forked out for in edinburgh. A combination of false advertisement (we never even stepped foot on a ride, even if it did only last 20secs) and screaming primary school children really made the dungeon a total disappointment. It was rushed, uneducational and a complete waste of a tenner! How can you learn about vampires when your put into a black room with two actors just screaming at you? You could barely hear what the actor was saying when he was explaining the torture section, but for me it was torture all the way through. Would not recommend it to anyone and its a shame cos the York one is so good.

was a dungeon, but not the nice kind.

After suffering 3 long hours in a queue that barely moved (which included watching advance ticket holders go in front of us), my wife and I were subjected to a dungeon experience cheaper than a £5 Rolex. I could go on, but there isn’t enough space or time to get across how tortuous this was for me. It was, in my opinion, a total let-down and clear exploitation of tourists wanting to experience olde Edinburgh. The only good thing is that I was there with my wife, who made it bearable! :O)

figured Mark would get a kick out of the title, lol :-P

I got a kick out of this postcard, being it says IT SUCKS and the dungeon actually kind of does LOL.

Anyhow, I got a postcard that says, “Lose your head at the Edinburgh Dungeon”. Which I definitely almost did after waiting in queue for 3+ hours to then experience a lackluster dungeon.

However, we did go on Good Friday so it was horribly busy and maybe the normal show is a lot better. They were probably putting people through as fast as the could being people were getting upset about the long wait times. I could see where it definitely had the potential to be good. I just think it would be nice if things were presented with a little more history and background. I would have liked to gain more knowledge from it. However, I can see were some poeple might not want that. They really should be more descriptive in their brochure and state that it is NOT a ride, there is one small section of ride. It would really be cool if they could renovate it and make the boat ride go through most of the tour. That would be so awesome, riding a huanted boat around to educational exhibits and actors doing skits!

Based on all those things, I’ll give it a thumbs up for visiting.

I think we got a bad day of it because it was Good Friday and very packed. They have this deal where if you purchase your tickets ahead of time online you can avoid the queue. Mark and I did not know this. We were stuck in queue with a ton of others for about 3 hours as people with printouts of online tickets passed ahead of us. It was frustrating. However, Mark and I thought the dungeon was going to be fun and educational so we gladly waited. Finally, we got in!

The first part was cool and the judge even called me up to the stand and charged me with being a witch! LOL, I prolly look like one. Then he said that I was seen by several reliable witnesses putting a spell on a frog asking to have a man brung to me. Then he said and after your spell the frog vanished and this man appeared! He pointed to my husband Mark. LOL, everyone laughed. It was good fun. However, after that it got less impressive. There was a mirror maze which was challenging and cool. After that it wasn’t very good. I mean it was OK for a hunted house with live actors but the brochure makes the place out to be educational and historical and a fun way to learn about Edinburgh’s dark history. However, it was not. The brochure also shows on the cover and inside a ride making it look like you actually go past exhibits while riding in a boat thing. This was badly portrayed as the ride is about 20 seconds long, maybe even shorter. You get in the boat, everything turns pitch black so you don’t actually see anything then this light up monster is positioned on the ceiling and lights up just as your boat is going under it. It was cheap and I expected the ride to be longer and higher quality.

Overall, I’ll say the place is worth visiting because it very well may be the best haunted attraction available around the city (I’m not sure what else is available). However, I will say that the walking tours such as Witchery Tours and Mercat Tours are far, far better if you want to get the history and and educational experience.