Kanard's Mind

...lately I get to a dead end anywhere I go inside this mind of mine.
I’ve been to places I didn’t know existed, and to places I knew of but hadn’t dared to open the door.
At first it is like a kid in a candy store when I finally do, but then guilt overcomes me.
I’m trapped in the corners of my mind, entangled and absorbed to a degree that is an awake livid nightmare.

...I had opened the door before and taken a quick peak, but lately I’ve dared to take a few steps down, it is filled with cobwebs and secret rooms which I don’t dare explore yet.
I’ve been a few steps down and came back alive…

There was a lonely time in my life when I felt I would never have a friend other than my imaginary friends.
I used to pray for friends and finally got them by the bunches.
I enjoy every moment I spend talking to them, typing to them, or just being near them.
Lately I’ve been wondering if they are real, they are such wonderful people and that makes me think it is all in my imagination, maybe they don’t exist, maybe all this typing is in my head, wouldn’t be the first time I swear I typed something and couldn’t find it later.
I feel the keys under my fingers resisting the push only slightly, I hear the click clack click of each individual letter.
I fear that someday I’ll wake up and this wonderful world won’t be this way.

Can change a lot of things, and make an ocean where there used to be dry land.

Weird things are happening in there, the lack of sleep and perhaps the medicine I’m taking for the migraines, or who knows…
I see things when they are not there and hear sounds…
I know they are not real but they still startle me, I can’t sleep at night because of the rushing of voices lots of murmuring voices…
Last night as we went out of the theatre I saw a man standing there by the door, it was clearly a person to me but when I tried to study him as I do to most people I see puff it vanished and I screamed, my sisters looked at me like a weird bug. I laughed they laughed…but I was still scared all the way home.