Gordon's Park

Words can’t describe the bizarre nature of Gordon’s Park. First off, I was told to arrive before 7PM to check in. “Okay, fine.” I think to myself.

Once I got there I realized that the whole place shuts down at 7. The pool, the mini golf the little store. My girlfriend and I were the only people in the whole park and we still had two full hours of daylight. Mind you, that Gordon’s Park is not located on a lake or scenic overlook.

The cabin was comfortable enough: a sturdy mattress and four solid walls. The light was dim but serviceable. The pit toilets, sink and “eco showers” were located about 200 feet away. In order for the luxury of having a bag of hot water drip on you, Gordon’s Park expects you to pay $2.

Manitoulin Island is supposed to have excellent night sky conditions for astronomers, a fact that Gordon’s Park advertises for everywhere. Not having a clear sky I didn’t get the chance to enjoy that feature.

Made famous by the Arrogant Worms song of the same name. A brief and easy to walk wooded trail, decorated with taxidermied animals arranged in dioramas. Contrary to the song, there is no fluff-petting -— all of the animals are in glass display cases.

But think about that.

Display cases, in the wild, containing dioramas of taxidermied animals.