Merch Bot

Myself, that’s who. But surely if I did need something so great as cured pork motif tush wipe, then I would head over to Merch Bot to procure some. If you happen to suddenly have a hankering for a more bacon themed life, you can use their other baconish products to coat your home with faux high-saturated-fat meat strips goodies.

Or, if you have a hankering for something a little more taboo, say human brains, you are in luck! Merch Bot is packed to the gills with zombie gear. The clothing choices have a few variations on the same ‘thriller-esque’ zombie pattern. In fact, these articles of undead fashion seem to have a life of their own. I purchased a hoodie with the happy zombie on the back which has tried to lurch off to places unknown many times. It never tried to escape in parks or other areas where the population density was low. Instead, every time the hoodie vanished, it was surrounded by people. Concerts, markets, street events, and gatherings were all likely places for a hoodie misplacement. I personally think that the zombie lurched off to find brains to feed on.