Pensacola

I loved living here when I was very young but, now that I’m older, I realize that Pensacola, while perhaps the most beautiful area in all of Florida, is also one of the most xenophobic and white supremacist areas around. The Pensacola area is littered with street signs and banners to its original Spanish settlers, but Pensacolans have nothing but loathing for actual Spanish coming into their area.

The heavy military culture here is filled with a lot of mean-spirited drunkard redneck bigots that get off on tormenting even the most well-mannered non-WASP’s who move here.

And, beyond just this, the city and county officials for Pensacola and Escambia County are some of the most corrupt anywhere. An obscenely overbloated kickback system rules here to such an extent that it makes Joe Don Baker’s old film “Walking Tall” look like a walk in the park. If you want to know why there are no major industries or opportunities in the Pensacola area, that’s why — the local corruption keeps them away.

Now, in all fairness, the people of Pensacola are very lively, outgoing people who are great fun, but only if you’re white Anglo-Saxon Protestant. If your last name isn’t WASP, be prepared to be treated like a carrier of the plague — particularly if you’re male, as the town is very WASP-male dominant.

Wow, where do I start. Let’s start with some myths about Pensacola. First of all, the beaches are great here. The only problem: THEREARE NO BEACHES IN PENSACOLA. THEYARE IN PENSACOLABEACH. Well, I’m glad I got that out of the way. This place is an absolute dump. I would be willing to argue with just about anyone who had anything positive to say about this town. I am justified in my opinions because I have either flown into or drove to most of the towns in the SE U.S. I have also been to about 12 other countries outside of the U.S.

Why does Pensacola suck? Well, let us see. First, if you drive around the entire town (which could take an entire hour if you cover most of the built-up areas) you will see absolutely NO industry. There are no Fortune 500 companies in this town. Most people work at Arbys or a Hospital. The only thing you will see in your one hour drive: thousands of houses, trailer parks, and run down buildings. The only piece of real estate worth seeing in P-cola: the 10 or so miles of Scenic Highway which borders and overlooks the west side of Escambia Bay. This is where you will find the only real (if you could say that there is a nice part) nice part of P-cola.

Downtown? Yeah, it sucks too. There has been a flacid attempt to re-vitalize downtown. Well, its really run down and there is absolutely nothing to see or do there. There are a few mediocre bars on Palafox. Absolutely, Absolutely NO southern charm that you would expect to see in any downtown of the south (compared to cities like Charleston, SC, Wilmington, NC, Savannah, GA, etc.)

Restaurants? Yeah, a few if you consider chain restaurants food! I CHALLENGEANYONE to name 10 decent restaurants in Pensacola. I can name one: McGuires. Now you can name 9 more (if they exist). A handful of decent restaurants lie on PENSACOLABEACH, and not in P-cola.

Bars, yeah there are none of those either. Wait, yeah, I forgot, there is one: Seville Quarter. That’s it. Everything else is some hole-in-the wall dump where some slack-jaw in a {color:blue} Busch Light shirt is trying to put a shank in your back. Yeah, just keep on going to P-cola Beach.

Sports. Yeah, like some guy said in a previous post, there are no teams within 3 hours of P-cola They did have an IHL hockey team for many years. For some reason I guess they decided to leave (Must have been part of the “Let’s make Pensacola suck even more” cause). Well, you know what this means: Road trip! Head to ATL or N.O. to get your live sports fix!

Live Music. Yeah, there’s none of that either. I think there is one lousy live music festival in the downtown in the spring/summer part of the year. The problem: you have to have a venue for live music (and there aren’t any).

University. Some towns have a couple division II or a single division 1 school. We have UWF. You say “U Dubble U what?” Yeah, UWF, a.k.a. “More High School”. %{color:green}A college up in the Ferry Pass/University area of P-cola. No real sports of any interest and the college blends in very well with the swamp near the power plant that it lies in.% Yeah, I would just steer clear of that area. No bar scene and absolutely nothing to do besides party it up in “The Fountains.” If you have been to UWF you know what I am talking about. He He He Go Argonauts!

This concludes my description of P-cola. If you agree that’s great. If you don’t (you are probably from here and have your feelings hurt) too bad. This is my sizing-up/description of P-cola. It is intended to aid in helping those who have yet to experience the misfortune of being stuck in this crummy place. My recommendations: continue on to P-cola Beach, Destin, or Panama City to see the beaches! I would drive the 5 hours to ATL to experience culture and everything P-cola doesn’t have. P-cola has done very little to improve itself. Something else I forgot to mention (for academic discussion). P-Cola does not have a port. Curious to see if someone knows why (if does, it does not compare to something like Mobile, AL). Having a port would probably help this town. One absolute truth that I am aware of: Pensacola is a military town. Yeah, I kinda realize that, look at my little profile picture. *The one thing most military towns have in common: they are dumps-they sit back and wait for the $ to roll in and do nothing to improve the town overall (Columbus, GA, Jacksonville, NC, Fayetteville, NC).

And I’ve officially gotten nowhere with my life. I hate this dump, can’t wait to get out of here. My advice—there are far better places in this state to live.

Because I love it!!! I haven’t been since 1998, but I can’t wait to load up the family and go back. Florida has the very best beaches, restaurants, bars, etc.

I lived here when i was 6-9 and it was awesome because the blue angels are based here and they would practice right over my house 5 days a week. awesome. i still want to be a pilot at 18.