South Of The Border

Dear Lord, it’s so cheesy.

…and I’ll bet I’m the only one on the list (other than maybe the buddy I went with) who went here as a destination! Yep, he had family in Lumberton and grew up seeing the signs on every family drive but never actually making it there. I hadn’t been there in probably 25 years or more…I said it was worth it just because of the “checklist” factor: you kind of have to go just once. Yeah, there really isn’t anything there; it’s entirely self-referential marketing and capitalism. Kind of says it all about our country, doesn’t it? (I read in an article that Ben Bernanke, the current Chair of the Federal Reserve – the guys who control the money supply in the U.S.! – worked here as a poncho-wearing clerk/waiter when he was taking his first job as a teenager. I’d say that proves it.)

You should go up in the Sombrero Tower and at least browse the shops and see some of the amazingly tacky and tasteless merch. (Beer bottle openers with Catholic iconography on them??) The food is cheapie roadside fare, but the ginger ale is absolutely excellent (and potent!) For the older travelers, the antique store is quite good (and not cheap in any sense).

so weird, but funny

I rode on a plastic alligator. And bought a whip.

…this place is not for you. It is an overgrown gas station, basically.

I did camp here one year in college. The next morning, management had to remove a giant rat snake from the campgrounds. It had apparently eaten something recently and was really lethargic, but still. Ew.