Jungle Cruise

Here we can see the Jungle Cruise boat heading toward the Ancient Cambodian Shrine, built by Ancient Cambodian Shriners. And in the foreground is one of my very best friends, along with some of his family.

• This fierce Bengal tiger can jump 15 feet! But don’t worry, were 14 feet from the shore. He’ll jump right over the top of us.
• These elepants have been bathing in this pool for 50 years. It’s okay to take pictures. They’re all wearing their trunks.
• Coming up ahead is Schweitzer Falls, named after that famous explorer, Dr. Albert Falls.
• On the left you can see the second-most feared creature in the jungle, the African Bull Elephant. Here on the right is the most feared, his mother in-law.
• Coming up on your left, the back side of water.
• Here’s something that you don’t see every day, but I do.
• Here’s Trader Sam, the head salesman here in the jungle. Business has been shrinking lately, that’s why he’s offering a special two for one deal. Yes, two of his heads for…one of yours. Any way that you look at it, you still come out…a head.
• Please exit the boat in the same manner as you entered…pushing, shoving, fighting.
• As you leave please remember to watch your head. If you forget, and bump your head, please remember to watch your language.

Another one of my favorites is no longer used on the Jungle Cruise. Its use was discontinued when the crocodile pool was removed.

• Remember to keep your hands and arms inside the boat. These are the laziest crocodiles in the jungle. They’re always looking for a hand out.

what an Adventure” that’s what I remember the guide saying with not very much enthusiasm ~ He was probably sick of saying it 500 times a day!

Cheesy puntasticness.