South Of The Border

Dear Lord, it’s so cheesy.

...and I’ll bet I’m the only one on the list (other than maybe the buddy I went with) who went here as a destination! Yep, he had family in Lumberton and grew up seeing the signs on every family drive but never actually making it there. I hadn’t been there in probably 25 years or more…I said it was worth it just because of the “checklist” factor: you kind of have to go just once. Yeah, there really isn’t anything there; it’s entirely self-referential marketing and capitalism. Kind of says it all about our country, doesn’t it? (I read in an article that Ben Bernanke, the current Chair of the Federal Reserve – the guys who control the money supply in the U.S.! – worked here as a poncho-wearing clerk/waiter when he was taking his first job as a teenager. I’d say that proves it.)

You should go up in the Sombrero Tower and at least browse the shops and see some of the amazingly tacky and tasteless merch. (Beer bottle openers with Catholic iconography on them??) The food is cheapie roadside fare, but the ginger ale is absolutely excellent (and potent!) For the older travelers, the antique store is quite good (and not cheap in any sense).

so weird, but funny

I rode on a plastic alligator. And bought a whip.

...this place is not for you. It is an overgrown gas station, basically.

I did camp here one year in college. The next morning, management had to remove a giant rat snake from the campgrounds. It had apparently eaten something recently and was really lethargic, but still. Ew.

The signs. They lead you in from miles around. My friend rich told me stories about this place… and how glorious it was. when i got there, i didnt even go inside. Fireworks just arent as cool as they were when we were kids.

but oh to say you’ve been there.

Well I am saying it is worth just for the experience and to say you have been there. It is amazing how many signs are along the highway advertising this place, and once you get there it is like, “this is it?” It is a treasure trove of tacky junk and the place just looks dumpy. It is amazing how they stay in business…

This place contains a treasure trove of junk made in China. That alone makes the stop worth it. But can you really say you’ve been to South of the Border, if you leave before ascending Sombrero Tower and confirming that you are, indeed, in the middle of nowhere?

my father had a team of flat track racers down south. we would drive down and south of the border was the signal for me to start throwing up due to motion sickness and being trapped in a moving vehicle. a client of mine actually bought me back a keychain recently on my request. mmmmm americana at its finest… excuse me i think i feel ill…..

God I love those billboards