Only visit this place if you like anonymous shot bars and being hit on by a dude calling himself Mystery. Honestly, it’s a small town, with no real transit or after-hours fun, parading as a city. Every slogan you hear and read is a lie. “Keep Austin Weird” is about calling someone gay for wearing pink sneakers and “Live Music Capital of the World” means MC Chris playing at Emo’s 7 times a year and one genre of music: acoustic guitar car dealership jingle. I moved from NYC to this place a year and a half ago and it’s been the longest, quietest, dullest 18 months of my life. Never have I seen such blind patriotism and pride for the color Burnt Orange and have it not mean a single thing. All the Bens, Joshs, Ashleys, and Hannahs are in denial.