scarbiedoll

This is a great part of town. The Mondragon is artsy, bohemian… all the words that artsy, bohemian types cringe at the sound of.

And this photo was just from the car! The mountains feel like they are closing in on you.

Just OK for me dawg. Head to the Rockies pronto.

London is so hip it hurts. Your need to feel like a cool Londoner can hurt your wallet too. But you can’t beat the Underground/Tube for getting ANYWHERE. And you can’t beat the history and the fact that anything can happen at any time.

London has you feeling like you’re in some fantasy game like Myst. You feel the need to explore every alleyway and look behind every picture frame for clues into what your life should be like.

Oh and the markets! Every shoppers dream. See a play, perhaps with a well-known actor (I saw Jude Law once in the audience, when I went to see Cate Blanchett in Plenty). The Tate Modern is a great example of what we all should do with our nasty coal plants. And even if it’s super cheesy, the London Eye is pretty badass.

Yes, it’s madness, it’s mayhem. But you’re only young and stupid once and the beach is pretty. Take sunscreen and condoms.

If you’re hitting Scandinavia, you MUST go to the capital of coolness. From the Ice Bar to the amazing transit system to the fact that the toilets flush two ways (small one for pee and big flush for poo).

Oh Sweden, you gave us ABBA and Absolut Vodka and Ikea (to name just a few). You protect your old buildings, while not being afraid to construct modern wonders. You protect the environment and your citizens. You are all really nice to talk to and to look at. And your meatballs kick ass.

Oh Bergen, with your scattering of people over 7 mountains. How I love thee. You are just a short drive from our Uncle Nils’ cottage in Hardanger and so I get to experience both your vibrant small city culture and your neighbouring fjords. See you soon my friend.

I love Norway. I am married to a Norwegian. But if you’re short on time, skip Oslo and head for the west coast. Bergen is way better to see.

Pros: Oslo has beautiful parks. Vigeland’s Park is absolutely stunning. You can even get a view of the ski jumping slopes in the distance. Their transit system is very easy to use. The Viking Ship Museum is also worth it. Aker Brygge district is cool for people watching.

Cons: The nightlife is a little dull by a city-lovers standards. Holy Mother of God is it expensive!!

I’ve been to Paris three times on my limited budget and limited French. Though it is generally expensive, there are deals to be had. Most importantly though, there are Parisian rituals that must be observed so you don’t get snubbed as an idiot North American.

Coffee: Cafe Creme (basically a latte) can only be ordered in the morning. Order a Cafe Expres (espresso) after meals and yes, AFTER dessert. Get a seat at any cafe and watch those fabulous Parisians act out the live theatre that is living in Paris.

Dinner: Parisians eat dinner very late. If you walk into an authentic French eatery and try to eat at 6 pm, they will laugh at you. So what are they doing at 6 pm?

Happy Hour: Happy Hour is alive and well in Paris. Get cheap(er) drinks, small snack foods and a great seat facing the street for evening people watching until dinner time.

Ketchup: Don’t ask for it unless you’re in McDonalds. Frites are perfect on their own.

Use your inside voice: Don’t draw attention to yourself by speaking English in embarassingly loud decibels. This will also decrease your chance of getting robbed.

Dress to impress: Even the poorest Parisian manages to look well put together. Leave the overalls and 8 ball jackets at home.