Neil

I’m going this weekend…for the half marathon. I’ve been to Moab about 20 times. I want to live there…but the background radiation is too high. I think the Chamber of Commerce gives out free Geiger counters to all the residents…just to be sure.

Also, go along the River Walk. The River Walk is a must do in San Antonio.

Lots of people, but a really interesting place. Also went on the river walk – very worthwhile. I heard a joke the other day…about the Alamo. Actually it is about…ummm…well…I’ll just tell it.

A U.N. Mission plane is flying from New York to London, full of U.N. dignitaries. The pilot gets on the intercom and says, “it appears we do not have enough fuel to make it to Heathrow. We need to lose some weight.”

So…the flight crew throws all the baggage out. The pilot says, “that’s good, but we need to lose more.” So…the flight crew unlatches all the seats and throws them out. Everyone has to stand.

The pilot comes on the intercom again and says…”we need to lose just a little more weight to make it to Heathrow.”

So…a Frenchman opens the hatch and says, “I will sacrifice my life for the lives of all on board…VIVE LA FRANCE!!!” And he jumps out the hatch.

The a Brit says, “I have great pride in giving my life for all on board.” Then he shouts, “LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!!!” And he, too, jumps out the hatch.

Then an American grabs a Mexican dignitary, and says, “as a red blooded American, I will sacrifice for all on board as well.” And he throws the Mexican dignitary out the hatch while shouting, “REMEMBER THE ALAMO!!!”

Recent headlines announced that the French have bid adieu to the term email. Not wanting to appear gauche, they have decided they can get along sans email. And though French is already a collage (perhaps even an ensemble) of other languages, they have decided that the simple word email may sabotage any effort to retain pure speech. This exclusion wasn’t the act of some rogue group either; La Commission Generale de Terminologie et de Neologie mandated that the term email be replaced with the Franco-neologism “courriel” in all government literature. How chic! And to think that the French government had its own genre of writing before this.

This isn’t the first time a foreign word has made a debut in the French lexicon, only to be put in the guillotine. Picnic, for example, is a word the French took on tête-à-tête. It survived the initial sortie into France however, and now exists as something like pique-nique. No, the French have not become blasé in the least. Au contraire; they have displayed their ardent esprit de corps against this blatant rendezvous with English. And though this incursion has created somewhat of a linguistic melee, it will likely not be the last time the Americans attempt to add another word to the long résumé of colonial text. The French will surely get that feeling of déjà vu when it does happen.

As for protecting English, we Americans are adroit at fending off foreign words and phrases. Intolerant we are of committing a similar faux pas. If our forte is diplomacy and democracy, we just might have to close our linguistic borders to protect our proverbial derriere. A single foreign word may just spell the coupe d’grace for the English language.

The French may bid email bon voyage, but this battle of the neologisms will likely make its mark on linguistic history. I can just hear the rallying cry of Frenchmen everywhere…REMEMBER THE À LA MODE!

I’d like to visit the Alamo. I’m going to have dinner out. When the server asks if I would like dessert, I am going to say that I would like a slice of apple pie, and to Remember the a la mode.

I wrote a letter to the editor a couple years ago, when the French were boycotting the word “e-mail.” They didn’t want English neologisms entering the French language anymore. I’ll go find it and post it here. Those French are so boring. They are so not-creative. Did you know that they don’t even have a word in their language for “entrepreneur?” Let me go find that letter. It is tres chic.

I was there when they were excavating it – right in the middle of Mexico City. A good book to read is “The Conquistadors” to get some background on the Spanish/Aztec encounter. Also, Barry Lopez’s short story…hmmm…I can’t remember the name…he talks about the aviaries and beautiful gardens of Tenochtitlan, before Cortez arrived (and subsequently burned them all to the ground).

Take the subway north, and then catch a bus to Teotihuacan, another spectacular place. Go early in the morning. I mooned the entire valley of Mexico from the Temple of the Moon. What else could I do? At least I didn’t flash anyone on the Temple of the Sun.

I once spent 4 days on skis and snowshoes. I think two months would be great. I’m bringing 30 pounds of bacon and a 55 gallon drum of salted butter.

Expedition Tumuc-Humac, by a french author, Francis Maziere I believe.

Great book. Read it in high school years ago. Have wanted to visit ever since.

I want to see the penguins. I’ll kidnap some and take them to the north pole and start a colony up there. Will they survive the trip if I put them on dry ice?

...that I was so close to Venezuela, I would have jumped ship and swam like mad. Was there in 1988 on a big ship. If Puerto Rico is part of the United States, they why do they compete against the United States in most sports. I’ve never understood that. It’s like the US Ski Team competing against New Jersey in the Olympics.