bedlam

I was traveling for a minor business get-together regarding a deal between LexCorp and Wayne Enterprises. I was just part of third party consulting firm based out of Metropolis. The guys I was working with in Metropolis at LexCorp just asked me to tag a long and give input on some details they needed to hammer out with the other suits from Wayne Enterprises. The plane trip was just fine as we got business class tickets comped. But, it all got bad as we were waiting for Bill, one of the LexCorp guys, to snag his filing case since they said it was too big to be carry-on and had to check it. We were sitting there at the Au Bon Pain eating some delicious soup which had probably been sitting in that tub for about 6 hours. When some fat little lunatic in a tuxedo came waddling as fast as he could through the airport hitting people with his umbrella and “quacking”? Next came this guy in full on bondage gimp gear and a frigging cape and cowl! They start fighting with eachother, which the gimp guy was totally winning, next thing I know I hear some popping noise and the fat guy was laughing and the gimp guy was flipping around all crazy! Suddenly I feel a stinging in my neck and find I’ve been hit with some little bird-shaped dart. As things go black I realize the heavily armed airport guards showed up and just started shooting everything. I woke up later in a hostpital with a throbbing headache and serious medical bill. Gotham sucks!

I don’t know much of thistle trees. Or much of what land resides under it. But, I do know there are wild things there, and that they do things very … WILD! So wild in fact that when you’re greeted at the travel coach station (the coach is pulled by the grown orphans that never behaved well enough to be adopted) they punch you in the throat before they ask you for your luggage claim. WILD! The food, I must admit, was very delicious. The only downside is it’s the same thing every night in a different order. First was a quail stuffed in a duck, stuffed in a chicken, stuffed in a goose, stuffed in a turkey, stuffed in a boar. Then it was chicken stuffed with boar, stuffed into a goose laden with boiled duck juice stuffed into a turkey, with ground quail on top. They got really creative sometimes, but you know what? In the end it was so WILD that you just knew it was something that had to be killed! WILD TO THE MAX! That, and none of the large hairy animalian natives ever, EVER wore pants. WILD HARDCORE!I highly recommend it to everyone for a WILD time.

man their fried rice and pad thai is gooooooood! and i know. those are the bread and butter of thai food. but if you eat it you don’t want anything else! pad kemau is damn good too!

I am lucky for having family here. The country is a two sided coin, that I truly recommend picking up. You have the friendly bedouins in the deserts that are more than welcome to guests. And, you have the Amman city life. While it’s no New York, it surely offers some amazing metropolitan features with out feeling like you’re in a western country. I don’t remember much of the airports people complain about. I wasn’t in them long, as my father retained his Jordanian citizenship we get hustled on through. Last time I was there: saw Petra, walked around the Roman ruins, ran around and splashed in the hot mineral baths and waterfalls south of the dead sea, ate innumerable lamb organs (liver shish kebab was the best), and hugged a camel. Being Bani-Hassan sure didn’t hurt the trip either.

Get out! Get out! Our roads aren’t big enough! Our beaches aren’t big enough! Take your tourism elsewhere! GO ON GIT!

It’s really lovely in the summer. STAY AWAY!