b00gnish

I spent a day here about three years ago. Of course, went to Avenida Revolucion. But it was quite fun. I bought a guitar for $25 US dollars. It was kind of a ripoff because it doesn’t play for crap, but it looks good on the wall. I bought some beads from an adorable little Mexican girl. I got offered Viagara and Valium and “algo que quieres” from every doorman I passed. I got invited to attend a “donkey show”. I was a bit intrigued, but the girl I was with wasn’t having anything to do with it. Then I saw Clerks 2, and now I’m glad I didn’t… I had the best Mexican food I’ve ever eaten right there on Avenida. It was a little restaurant, basically a taco stand with sheltered seating. I had a tostada con ceviche. OMG it was good! I really had a great time. The locals were super friendly. The cab ride to Avenida from the train stop/border crossing was insane. The city is really quite a sprawl. Way too many people live here. A blue collar brat from the states myself, I’d never seen anyhing like it. Go. Check it out. But be prepared to pay cash to use a toilet.

There’s a ton of stuff to see here. I recommend checking out the Calle Ocho festival for a cultural experience that’s just about unique in the states. Eat the food. Go to little havana during the daytime and eat the food. Bring your alka seltzer and eat the food. Don’t be shy. Pastelitos for breakfast, vaca frita for lunch… Be careful at night, especially walking from the train to Coconut Grove. Muy peligroso, or at least it was back about ten years ago. La Carreta in little havana has awesome food and great mojitos. But don’t be afraid to try the little mom and pop type places. The little cuban bakeries are going to blow your mind. Oldenburg has some public art there that might be worth seeing. South beach, beach side, is quite fun during the day. Many of the topless sunbathers are quite easy on the eyes. Night time on South Beach, of course, club side is where it’s at. Some of the hotels there tend to expect that you won’t be spending the whole night. Know what you’re checking yourself into. That goes for the girl you picked up in the club too. Think it’s a girl? Not a bad idea to be sure. There’s an overabundance of convincing transvestites on South Beach. Knowing a little Espanol will go a long way in this city. Memorizing the map and taking the train whenever possible will get you even further.

I was born on Long Island, been here several times, but there’s always something new to see. Bring a camera, because there’s a potential snap around every corner. Go to Canal Street for the best knockoffs you’ll ever see, priced more reasonably than you’ll ever believe. Carmine’s, right off of Times Square, has the best Italian food. Family portions, so bring some friends. Be prepared to wait at least three hours for a table. There’s a second one now, somewhere in north Manhattan, so maybe try that one for less of a wait? If yo go to Chinatown, and say, get some Chinese food, do yourself a favor and don’t use the restroom. The Murray Hill Inn, in midtown, has really cheap rates. That’s where I’d stay if I ever go back. The rooms are just big enough to fit a bed, but hey, you’re in the city that never sleeps anyway. Say hello to Ali if yo stay there. He is, in fact, the best concierge on the planet. It was a few years back though, so don’t know if he’s still working there. Learn the train system, and you’ll save a fortune on transportation. Taxis are expensive. You’re going to be disappointed with the pizza probably anywhere yo go, but take a day trip into Queens or really any of the outlying boroughs, and as long as you don’t go to a chain restaurant, you’ll probably see why New York pizza is the best pizza in the states. Don’t gamble with the street hustlers. If you’re not sure if he/she’s a hustler, he/she’s a hustler. Careful crossing the street. Especially watch for taxis. They’re not shy to nudge you out of the way. Jaywalking is tantamount to suicide. If they have a green light, they’re not going to get in trouble for hitting you. Stay out of central park after dark. In fact, stick to the well-lit streets and places with lots of people. It’s not the crime I’d worry about as much as the rodents of unusual shapes and sizes. Bring extra cigarettes from home if you smoke. It’s not uncommon to pay over ten bucks per pack for a premium brand. Now, despite all these warnings, I can’t recommend this place enough. You can either have an incredible time, or this city can chew you up and spit you out in pieces. But that’s the same for any of the biggest American cities. Do your homework. Know what you’re getting yourself into and you’ll be fine. But if you find yourself asking directions at the tollbooth on the Washington Bridge, you’re going to be a statistic.