Ksalus

When in Jamaica here are a few hustles that the beach jerks try to run and how to deal with them:

1) Approaching you with outstretched palm to get you to stop and redirect your path to their gift stands. They will shake your hand and not let go for a while and may try two things. Pull you to their stand or tie a bracelet around you.

How to combat this… Ball your hand into a fist and offer a cordial fist to fist pound (avoiding the hustlers grapple) while saying “respect” or “one love” keep walking tell them that you are late for dinner, lunch, bus, tour and can’t talk.

2) Hustlers stopping you in the street to chat.

Visible white Ipod head phones in your ears will enable you to ignore them without seeming rude. (Work well for girls)

Option 2 Speak another language or in broken English. Spanish and German are known languages.

3) Nothing is free. If they want to offer you a gift they will most likely ask you buy them a beer. When you reach your beer-offering destination they will say give me the money and I will buy it or they will sell it to them cheaper since they are a local.

Option 1 give them 100 Jamaican and let them be off that’s what a beer costs.

Option 2 enter establishment and tell them to follow they will most likely not.

4) Haggling is acceptable practice. Never buy from street venders or even cabs a quoted price.

Low ball them with half of what they ask for and work you way up to a reasonable price.

How are you going to steal a raggeddy old backpack with the word punk written on it using safety pins. Well enjoy the dirty underwear and old socks you cheese eating surrender monkeys.

I got married here!

I use to work here. The crew in this Ballroom rules. If you see Kenny the soundman or Camron the crazy hells angel bouncer tell ‘em “salad” said hi and misses the fuck out of them.

God bless the L.E.S.

Lower East Side Birth Place of Punk rock!

Breakfast is good but lunch, dinner, waitstaff is worthless.

This is a crappy little town whose hotels and resorts make money of exploiting Romanian Students.

and you’re in Wisconsin. Ah the magic scent of dook.

This places blows. LAAAAAME.

Home of cheese steaks and the girl that killed Sid Vicious.