Ben
London

day 16, homeward bound

Sadly this is the last day of my holiday, back to work on Monday.

I spent my last night in France, checked out of my hotel, bought some pastries for breakfast and spent the day walking around Perpignan, the sun was out, it’s an attractive city; but with no guide book though I was sort of wondering about aimlessly. I checked up on 43places and Wikipedia, but there wasn’t much listed about the town, popped my head into another gloomy church. I kept saying things in Spanish rather than French, I missed the place already.

My flight home left in the afternoon, it was a flight where you sit where you like. I grabbed the best seat on the plane, window seat, right at the front, lots of leg room, first off the plane, the flight back was pleasant too, no clouds in the sky, I spotted us going over the Isle of Wight. Finally got home at 9:24pm.

While on holiday, I’ve been reading South from Granada by Gerald Brenan, it’s a great book about Andalucia rural life before the Spanish Civil war. In the preface written in 1953, he spoke about Spain’s character:

...No one is going to find in Spain a model country like Sweden or Switzerland, conditioned by rhythm of it’s machines, but on the contrary one which has up to now insisted on preserving a certain modicum of anarchy and non-compliance. How long this is going to continue I can not say, but it is still true that south of the Pyrenees one finds a society which puts the deeper needs of human nature before the technical organization that is required to provide a higher standard of living. This is a land that nourishes at the same time the sense for poetry and the sense for reality, and neither of these accords with the utilitarian outlook.

I believe the Spain that he describes still exists and I’m happy to have witnessed a bit of it. What I’ve experienced over the last two weeks has been emotional, the memories have become a part of me…

Not yet sure when the next part of the journey will be, but it’ll be back to France and then on to Italy.

Lastly, thank you for reading my thoughts as I went, it’s been good knowing you’re there, your comments and cheers have been welcome company.


Comments:

(This comment was deleted.)

Ben
London

Thank you, but...

...I’m still uploading pictures, they are not all there yet :)

Check out the Formentera set.

That place was special.

I’m not sure if closure is the right word, it’s wasn’t a goodbye, more like hello. I hope I got to know and understand my grandparents a little better, saw a bit of who they were as a young couple, before I was born. It was quite a powerful thing to experience, possibly put things into perspective. They were a major influence on my life and will always remain a part of me.

Reliving the smells and the unexpected memories as I walked towards Moraira were so powerful. While walking up the road to the villa, I was expecting the sound of cicadas in the trees, but no, instead I heard wood pigeons, a sound I so closely connect to my childhood bedroom at their house back home in England.

Also, walking past Moraira beach, seeing the four foot waves reminded me of how fearfully high they felt when I was a child, feeling scared, but laughing because I knew I could hide behind the legs of my grandparents in safety.

It was very moving.

I’ve never written a diary like that before, I loved spending a part of my day, making solid the emotions from the day before, it made things so much more real. I really miss it, it made me live for now, making sure my days were full.

A week after being back, seeing friends and colleges, it’s felt odd, reusing and quoting my written words to describe my trip. Now home again, I’ve felt slightly lost, like a relationship break up, grieving for the way of life I’d quickly become accustomed to.

One thought kept echoing in my mind while away, the powerful closing scene from Blade Runner, life can be so beautiful, but it’s unstoppable, everything changes, everything ends:

_I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe.
Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion.
I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser gate.
All those moments will be lost in time,
like tears in rain.
Time to die._


Add a comment

Ben has gotten 1 cheer on this entry.