Nice things you could say about eating here:

• When you notice that the waitress is inept at operating a water pitcher after decades of experience, and think that it speaks metaphorically about the establishment, it makes you feel smart
• Learning that making food extra greasy isn’t a guarantee that it’ll have any flavor proves that your own rudimentary cooking is relatively expert
• Employees lumbering around like zombies because they’re so far beyond caring make the place feel like the setting of a Far Side cartoon. You like Far Side cartoons!