i think perhaps that my trip to oakland was the best thing that’s happened to me since i went to Asia. on my final day in Oaky we decided in a hungover stupor to trapse around the lake which at the time may or may not have involved a spot of boating. we admired Children’s Fairyland [real place] and the Duck Garden [also real place] and ended up confusedly touring the lakeshore on unsteady feet amidst fit joggers and cute semi-newlywed young couples pushing rosy-cheeked babies in expensive strollers.

contrary to what everyone and his/her/their mother had told me about Oakland, this day in the most beautiful sun of the season quickly asserted that this town was in fact not ghetto and was almost beautiful in a way, perhaps given the state of mind we were all in. we had been up incredibly late and danced all through the dark grimy night on poorly carpeted dancefloors with fake accountant hipsters and pseudo-african dancers covered in spilled gin tonics and whiskey cokes. this day-afternoon we positively beamed the wonderfulness of the cloudless sky back at everyone who gazed upon us. and they gazed half-cocked, to say the least.

we rented a paddle/pedalboat. at first we were reluctant; Lake Merritt is much larger in person then it appears on the childish and simple map [which includes the confusing ‘Acorn Train’ that we never found; not a part of Children’s Fairyland]. my 2 friends pedalled and i sat in the middle. they were surprised at how easy it was and compared it to the previous time they’d rented an oar-powered boat to ply the Lake Merritt tides. We soon realised we’d forgot our yuppie ipod boombox and had to resort to singing songs acapella as we zoomed along. it soon became evident that we knew mutually mostly 60s soul and motown as well as TV themesongs of various ages.

we spotted a group of protesters with signs marching gallantly along the far side of the lakeshore. we could only make out something about ‘PEACE’ so we attempted to boat over. at this point a shift in my uncomfortable seating position resulted in the revelation that the person sitting in the middle can pedal the boat along with the other two boaters! we tried for 10 or 15 minutes in vain to catch up to the protesters but ended up merely singing every Enya song we could remember, which turned out to be a ton of songs, although the most we could remember of any song was something about the moon and “ooooh oooooooh”. at this point we’d reached where the map had located the ‘Acorn Train’ but it was nowhere in sight.

we became aware [while belting out ‘Rainbow Connection’] that if we pedalled fast enough we could make a wake. we tried as hard as we could and decided to try and ‘get’ the ducks sitting on the lake [presumably the ones that escaped the Duck Garden]. as we sped along we matched the shoreline promenande and, sweat on our brows, proceeded to stare and giggle at every passerby. realising eventually that though we were ‘at sea’ and they were not, they could still hear us. people finally began to wave back as we decided to round number two of the perilous ‘Lake Merritt Fountains’.

upon reaching the fountain we figured it would be too difficult [and the fountain smelled too much] to circumnavigate it, but realised we’d magically caught up with the protesting party! their signs read “HONK IF YOU SUPPORT PEACE!” and “HONK FOR AND END TO WAR” and other such phrases. we had no horn, but of course we were excited because A. we don’t support the war and B. we finally caught up to the protesters! so in lieu of hornage we ‘WOOOOO’ed the protesters extensively as motorists reciprocated and honked accordingly. a most satisfying experience.

there was little in this experience to remind me that soon i would have to board a plane and fly south to the urban wasteland popularly referred to as ‘The Valley’ in various media, but i will not include the sad ending to this journey, and leave you all on a note of positive ‘WOOO’ness and pacificity. the pedal/paddleboats in Lake Merritt have my vote for TOP TEN OF LIFE.