Dallas, Georgia is, by proximity, an outer western suburb of Atlanta. Located in Paulding county, it instead is home to the worst of the area’s hokey, podunk personalities. In fact, just before moving to the northern part of the county, we passed the Paulding County courthouse one Saturday morning to find a KKK rally about to take place. If you can imagine anything MORE horrifying, there was a Klan member in the parking lot being helped on with his sheet by a UNIFORMED COUNTY DEPUTY SHERIFF. Had we not already purchased the house, we would have fled, never to return.

Ten years later, we’ve never seen any KKK activity again, but still, we don’t go down to Dallas very often – we usually go to the friendlier, more user-friendly town of Cartersville – which is, in my humble opinion, a fantastic little city complete with a world-class art museum, decent name-brand grocery stores and shopping, and nice restaurants of all sizes and flavors.

Dallas, by contrast, is small (a slowly-dying business district that barely covers an entire block), dark, and full of hostile locals.

I was recently hospitalized (quite by accident) at the former Dallas Community Hospital (now known as “Paulding Memorial”) where medical care seems to be stuck in a 1950’s vortex. The 20-bed facility reeked of urine and worse. The same three charge nurses handled both day and night shifts. I suspect my stay was lengthened by the fact that I had good insurance, as it seemed most of the patients on my end of the hallway were in the last stages of senility. I finally had to demand to be released, as some idiot of a nursing technician (who admitted she had graduated a 12-week educational program the week prior) had decided I needed a urinary catheter.

Trust me, the inhabitants of this town barely speak English! Let me add here that I am Southern as well – from a similar very small town in western Tennessee. So I know that of which I speak. There is nothing to do here at night except go into one of the closer suburbs where there is entertainment – bowling alleys, restaurants, bars, nightclubs, shopping, etc. At 6:00 pm, Dallas shuts down and rolls up the sidewalks.

The local county government cable channel is quite entertaining. Officials who can’t complete an entire sentence without using the word “ain’t” get up at various meetings and events and display sad attempts to make public speeches. Even the county solicitor (who is a local attorney) can’t seem to eliminate use of the phrase “ain’t gonna”. As these gems of Paulding county (of course, they have never elected an “outsider” – only native-born Pauding countians) are purported to be the product of its own schools, I am thankful to have no children!