1- Vienna International Airport or VIA is small, specially put in juxtaposition with the bigger ones like Frankfurt, Schipol in Amsterdam or O’ Hare in Chicago. Hence, more negotiable. However, here is one thing you will be intelligent to remember. They don’t encash traveler vouchers in the airport, and the Johann Strauss shit at airport makes you believe that it is the original Viennese experience, but wait till you get to the city; I don’t want you to regret it, specially after seeing something like the Café Central or Griechenbeisl or the many Gastwirtschaft’s that dot the city. It’s Vienna, and probably, the atmosphere in the city is as good as anywhere it gets in the world.

2- Take the CAT Airport- City shuttle from VIA to the city i.e. Landstrasse, which is like about two stations away from Stephaner Platz with the U- 3. It cost us about like 7 Euros, but well, a taxi would be about 48- 50 Euros to the Innerstadt.

3- People might try to sell you a lot of shit, but you got to sleep at the right places, which is just simply put down the Innerstadt. Neubau is bohemian, Simmering is dirt cheap, and Wieden is maybe next to the Suedbahnhof, But Vienna is essentially all about Innerstadt, and trust me this once, the Subway, the Trams and everything else can take you wherever you want, and to put it plainly, Vienna is all about the thin alleys and the unbelievable grandeur of the Innerstadt. I was on Graben, twenty metres from Stephanerplatz, two hundred metres from Kohlmarkt and somewhere about that to Hofburg. That’s Vienna.

4- Vienna is an expensive city. A good original meal outside McDonalds or the Departmental Store would be about Twenty Euros for two. I count it as one dish, and a glass of Wine to go along with it. Salads normally accompany. Though you can have Lonely Planet listings, sometimes go out on foot and just let it rip. Everyone knows Figlmuller on the east of Stephaner Platz and Zu Den Zwei Liesln on Burggasse, but there’s a lot more fantastic to it. Just like walking straight from Graben for a while, we reached a little alley called Singerstrasse, and it was getting fucking hungry, and suddenly we come across this little Gastwirtschaft called Gasthaus zu den 3. Hacken, and damn, it had the best fucking mushroom I have ever tasted, and even the house wine is just the merlot you need. Then I looked up, and there it seit 1467. That was my Viennese moment.

5- The good places need reservations. We walked through miles, stood in long waiting to get to Figmuller, and we realized you need reservations. Fuck. But just for you so that you don’t fuck up like we did, here is the Figmuller reservations number: 512 61 77

6- Walk the city. There are loads being sold out there. However, Vienna is essentially a city which you can do wonderfully yourself. The Public Transport is dope, and there is no reason why you should not be able to negotiate it. Take the do- yourself tram tours, say the Line 1 which circles the Innerstadt on the Ringstrasse , walk on the Innerstadt and Hofburg, get inside buildings you like. You can cycle too, but it is not a Hamburg or Munich, so cyclists are not essentially a priority. Nevertheless, it is still Europe, so you might just do it.

7- If you hear about something, don’t shy away from getting there. Like this place on Burggasse; we probably got lost and had to walk for about like a long while, take the trains and everything, but getting there meant that we had done Mariahilfe and Neubau. Boy, it was hot and the walk was long, but now, do I regret getting to Neubau and seeing the essentially real Vienna. No.

8- This is basic. See which side of the station you getting out on, and which side the train is going. The U- 3, for instance, can take you to Simmering or Ottakring. Say, you want to go the Westbahnhof from Stephanerplatz, you take U- 3 Ottakring, and U- 3 Simmering the other way round.

9- Vienna has about 621 Hectares of vineyards within the city limits. And there is, of course, the traditional Heurigers dotting the city. I know it’s touristy, but man, you gotta do it once. The atmosphere is just about electric, and you can actually have the finest wine you have ever had. It would not be a Riedel, and more often than not would be a Zweigelt, but it’s just really fantastic. I made it to Grinzing, which is like the northern district, and remodeled on an Austrian Village. I was not disappointed..

10- More about wines now; The Anti- Freeze scandal of 1985 is way past now, and after all, Austria has a four thousand year old history of extreme whine making. Generally, Austrian Wine is the dry white wine variety, made from the Gruner Weltliner. But I drink red, and it’s still great. Austrian wines are essentially drunk young, and Blauburger is actually more subtle than the Zweigelt. But actually, the in house wines in restaurants are good, and cheaper too. Though it’s a white wine destination, I would not really know.

11- Your day in the park would be either Wiener Wald or Zentralfriedhof. I chose the latter for it being the less touristy one, and something so utterly European. It’s like a cemetery the size of the Innerstadt, and really quiet. It’s also happens to be somewhere where Beethoven, Mozart and the likes were buried. Though I could not find them; talk about the Paparazzi even making it to the dead. But getting to Zentralfriedhof is complicated and long; the end of U3 Simmering and then S- Bahn 6 which drops you to Gate 1. Make sure you choose a comfortable day. We chose the hottest day in recent Austrian history, just round about 39 Celsius. But it was still fantastic.

12- Nightlife. MuseamQuartier just comes alive, And I went to this Country Festival in Prater, which did not really disappoint. But night times are quiet in the Innerstadt, so you have to make it outside districts.

13- Read the Kroner Zeitung; the middle section has a thing on things happening on the city. Much like Time Out or Village Voice, it lets you know where you have to be. And always nice and makes you actually aware of the city in which you are in better.

14- Museums and Operas: You have to know your priorities. I had just 72 hours cut short by Bratislava and the Danube Valley, and to do everything I wanted to do, I needed to prioritize. And anyways, I don’t give a fuck about Opera, and know the best display of anything is not inside a walled gallery, but down on the streets. But again, Vienna is Mozart, Strauss and Beethoven, so you might want to see it. Do not worry, you will just about manage to do it.

15- Buy the Vienna Card; valid for 72 hours, you get unlimited access to the public transport inside the city, and discounts at many places where nobody apart from a hoard of Japanese Tourists want to go. But yeah, the transport makes it all worthwhile, and at about 16- 18 Euros, it’s the sweet taste of freedom.

16- Plan your excursion. You are excruciatingly near Bratislava, Prague, Budapest and basically anywhere. Berlin might be the cross between the east and the west, but geographically, Vienna is still the true Central Europe. And the Danube valley is just there, with you being less than 100 kilometres of Ybbs, Melks, Krems and Duernstein.