I was an over-the-road trucker, and I got a load bound for Hicksville, NY. I at first wondered where the f* that was, then I looked it up on the map and saw that it was on Long Island. I thought that would be ok, because I get an extra $50 to go to Long Island.

I found out pretty quickly that Long Island is not a very truck-friendly place. As soon as I got off the L.I.E., I got lost, then I found my way back to where I started and promptly got lost again. Eventually, I got to the consignee, and a guy who sounded exactly like Robert DeNiro unloaded my trailer.

My next load was set to pick up in Wyandanch, so I got back on the expressway, and went over there, then I got lost again. It was around this time that I discovered that the authorities in New York don’t know how to measure the heights of bridges. My truck was 13’ 6” high, and I’m going all over the island, trying to find this place, and somehow I end up on highway 25A, and here’s a bridge with a sign on it that says CLEARANCE 12’ 8”.

I stopped and sat a while in the no stopping zone, wondering what to do, because I couldn’t turn left or right, and I couldn’t turn around, so I went very slowly under the bridge to see what would happen. Of course, nothing happened, because the actual clearance on the bridge was 13’ 8”.

So, my initial experience on Long Island kinda sucked, but I think it would be a nice place to drive around in a car.